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Changes by Sue Wilgren

By savanna - Posted on 17 December 2010



I remember the morning that my young daughter (17 at the time) sent me a text message, telling me that she had some news for me.


At the time Mel was living in a very small town in Saskatchewan, while I was living in Alberta. I was at work, Mel had left only a few days earlier with a boy that she had met. The two of them decided that they were going to go live with the boy's father, who had driven from Saskatchewan to pick them up and drive off into the night.


Mel had been going through some difficult times in her life. Although we maintained a wonderful and loving relationship, she did not want not be at home - rather chose to live on the streets, and couch surf.


In any event, receiving a text message telling me that she had some news for me was only a little bit of a surprise... and of course, my mind turned immediately to a pregnancy.


I tell people that I dragged Mel back to Calgary, and then further to Victoria - kicking and screaming, but truth be told, I think that Mel was grateful to be pulled out of such a turbulent and destructive environment.


On arrival in Victoria - there were some old lifestyle habits that were difficult to break - and of course the destructive relationships although left behind in another Province, were still very much a part of the daily life of my daughter.


My parenting style has always been one of leading by example, and letting my kids make their own decisions, with a healthy dose of my opinion. Because of this style of parenting, I felt it was important for Mel to realize that life was changing now because of the life growing inside of her.


Happily, day by day - Mel's thought processes began to change and today - with only one month left before due date, she is a young woman who is ready to become a mother.


As Mel has embraced motherhood, the thought of being a grandmother has become easier for me as well. The fears of what if, is she ready, will I need to step in are becoming farther and fewer as each day passes. As with all new mothers, there is the unknown and of course we will be dealing with that for years to come.


As of today, my role is very clear in Mel's life. I am here to support her as she brings her daughter into the world, and help her to make a life for the two of them. Mel plans to go to college and obtain a legal assistant diploma, following the footsteps of her mother.